Wednesday, March 17, 2010


I feel... like Mom's ship is sinking.
She's out there swimming.
She refuses to get on the lifeboat, those are for the elderly people.
She tells everyone who offers help that she is swimming just fine. But, she is really standing on me, I'm the one under water and floundering.
I feel like I can no longer hold her up.
I cannot tread water and support someone who won't reach for the buoys or the lifeboats.
She no longer knows how to swim, but she thinks she does.

Today two people held me up. Today two people let me hold on to the edge of their lifeboat.
Thanks to the stalwart visiting nurses and to friendly and knowledgeable insurance representatives.

1 comment:

2008 said...

This is not my story but my advice to anyone who is watching someone drown:
In a human-potential story you are told to imagine yourself walking down a road by the sea when you come upon a drowning man. Because you don't know how to swim (or not able to swim w/someone else's weight on you), you can deal with the problem in one of three ways:

1. Sympathy: You jump in the river and drown with him.

2. Empathy: You sit down and moan and cry about him drowning.

3. Compassion: You do something about it. Throw him a rope or run and find someone who knows how to swim.

We must have self-compassion as well
Thinking of you - Erin