Monday, April 18, 2011

do it now!

Mom called me Sunday morning. She was surprised that the call went through. I was surprised that she could find my phone number on the first page of her address book and could press all 11 numbers in order.

She greeted me with her now routine "where the hell are you?" She yelled at me because I wasn't there to take her to get her hair cut. Time has no meaning.

Last week she whined that she needed to get her hair cut, now! But I can't take her to the ONE person she trusts to cut her hair, for another two weeks.

We talked about her going downstairs at the assisted living and letting THAT WOMAN cut hair, but Mom was adamant that SHE would do a "crappy job" and would only "hack at my hair with her scissors." I don't know how to change her mind about the resident hairstylist.

Taking Mom to her favorite hairstylist is a full day project for me. One hour up to get Mom + 20 minutes to get her out of the building + 30 minutes drive to + 30 minutes of wash, cut, and blow dry + 30 minutes driving back + at least 20 minutes to get her back into the building + one hour drive home. Her beautifully coiffured locks are not worth 4+ hours and 100 miles of driving.

I think it's time for Mom to accept a new hair style and stylist. HA HA HA HA right...


Linda said...

I empathize with you as you cope with your mother's conviction that no one else can do her hair properly. You're right, you probably won't be able to change her mind--how about one of those therapeutic fibs? So hard to do. But it's ok, really. I give you permission to tell your mom that her regular stylist has gone on a year long tour of Europe!

Debbie's Garden said...

Nice! I like Linda's idea. My Mom also hated EVERYONE that cut her hair. Especially when they had to cut it short to blend in the places she had cut it herself down to 1"!!! She finally let my sister "trim it up". I agree, 4 hours of your day for a haircut is too much1

Daughter said...

This is one of those times that if you DO put your foot down and tell yourself you can no longer do this, that you will find the world does not end.

My therapist has assured me that my responsibility as a loving daughter is to make sure my mother has the basic necessities. It is not my job to make her happy... Which is a good thing, because I can't.

I too went through the hairdresser wars with my mom. You can do it. You need to take back that time, because once its gone, its gone. And...there will be other things that come up with your Mom that will be more important.