I am rereading "Creating Moments of Joy". It's a book I highly recommend to all caregivers.
I bought Mom some new pj's, a larger size, her old pj's make her look like a stuffed sausage. When I give them to her she's going to fight me, and argue with me, and disagree that these new pj's aren't the "right" ones. I can see the battle play out before it even happens. So sad.
So, I had a thought. I wrapped the pj's in gift wrap and slapped on a gold bow. Then I wrote out a card, with a picture of a cat on it, of course, and it reads: "Dear Grammy, I saw these pj's and thought of you. I know you like blue. Love, DB" Yes, I signed my son's name to this card. My son has no idea that he gave his grandmother pj's today. I am using my own children in this deception with my Mother.
But, you know what? Mom was thrilled to get a gift from her grandson. She coo-ed over the cute cat on the card. She told me the pj's were very pretty. She was so excited to get them that she wanted to try them on right away.
You know what?
I created a moment of joy.
I avoided a battle with Mom.
She wore the gold bow for the rest of the day like a corsage.
The aide asked me if I thought Mom would wear these new pj's. They know how hard it is to get Mom dressed everyday, especially when her favorite ("the only pair I have") pair of jeans is in the laundry. I was grinning and laughing, "She likes them now. They are a gift from her grandson. Just remind her of that."