We moved Mom into the assisted living residence on Monday, five days ago.
After our lunch visit at the assisted living residence in October, Mom became extremely despondent, even talking of suicide. I was going to ruin her life, she could not understand why I would do such a thing to her. The wrath and hatred that exuded from her was immense. She would not look at me or talk to me for three days.
I could not leave her alone. I stayed with her in her house, distracting her with our "usual routine", the "normal" day to day stuff that we did together. We went to the grocery store, we went out for lunch, to the transfer station, and the book store. We had a "pajama party" and watched old movies and ate cookies in her bed. And once again, we did not speak of the elephant in the room, we did not talk about moving or living alone.
My brother, EJ, finally got there. He lives across the country and had planned to be here to help Mom with this transition. I relinquished Mom to his care. He lived a thousand hours with her in those three days. He got to hear her stories over and over and over. He drove her all over, brought her to church, visited with old friends and family, and kept her busy and exhausted. Also not talking about the big elephant called "moving."
I was surprised that she wasn't surprised or scared to find my brother there in her house in the morning when she woke up.
Monday morning Mom and EJ went to visit some old friends. These co-conspirators knew of our agenda for Mom and why we needed her out of the house. As soon as they were gone the rest of us descended on her house. My husband, our kids, and the rental truck. In 3.5 hours we had her furniture, clothes, and belongings installed in her new apartment; books and dvd's neatly lined up on shelves, towels and clothes folded in the closet. My d-i-l wrote Mom's name on all her things. Smaller displays of her collectibles were hung to decorate her new apartment and make it her own.
to be continued