Friday, June 24, 2011

the hamper

Mom doesn't know how a hamper works. It seem so bizarre but it's true.

I know, there are many, many Alzheimer's caregivers, some who read this blog, who are going through much worse; such as helping a parent who doesn't remember how to use a toilet.

You put the dirty clothes in the hamper, the nice girl takes it away, and brings back clean clothes. No, I guess that's not true, in my Mom's mind.

Mom and I were talking about going to a cousin's cookout this weekend.
"I can't go, I have no clothes to wear."
"I thought you wanted to wear your new black pants and your black and white blazer." She had already set the blazer aside with her black purse and shoes.
"Those pants are too long."
Oh no, not the too long pants again...
"I can hem them for you, please try them on so I can see how much to take up." She holds them up to her hips, bends over and looks down to see them touching the rug.
"They are too long, look at them!"
"Ok Mom, I'll hem them for you, before the party. While we're here, why don't you put on a clean jersey, this one is spotted." It has lunch dribbled down the front. I reach into the closet and grab another jersey, this too has a dirty front. The third one looks ok.
"That one is dirty!" she yells.
I turn it around and examine it well, "It looks clean to me."
She takes it and starts to dress. "Don't put those in the hamper!" she is frantic.
"They are dirty, Mom."
"Don't put them in the hamper!" she is stamping her feet and yelling. All of a sudden she is on fire because I want to put dirty clothes in the hamper. She's yelling that they won't wash her clothes, they don't wash her clothes, they steal her clothes, you have to put them on the floor, that you can't put clothes in the hamper, you have to hang dirty jerseys in the closet... this is so bizarre. She is yelling and screaming at me like I don't know anything about laundry, like I'm an idiot. Oh my gosh, may-day, may-day, divert, divert - get me out of this "conversation".

"Mom, let's go to the kitchen and have a glass of oj."
"Ok" she looks at her chest "This shirt is dirty."

1 comment:

Elorie said...

I found your blog because I was doing a search for "hamper that you can't reach into" for exactly that reason. I am dealing with a grandmother with dementia, and this article could have come directly from some of my and my mom's conversations about what to do with Grandma. Thanks so much for letting us know we're not alone.