Tuesday, September 25, 2012

hate mail

Part of why I write this blog is to get thoughts out of my head. Once I've written them down, I don't mull over them or let them disturb my sleep. This blog is a way for me to process thoughts and get on with life.

I need to write about the hate mail. My husband tells me to just "forget about it" and I will, once I write it down.

As you know, I am participating in the WALK TO END ALZHEIMER'S. I have been fundraising through emails, facebook, and by handing out pledge sheets to people I see. But then I remembered other people we know: Mom's friends and neighbors, her "dear old friends", the women of her monthly luncheon group, friends from her church, and our extended family. These are people I can only communicate with the old fashion way, with a letter. I don't expect a donation from everybody. I know some of these people have severely limited incomes. But maybe my letter will encourage them to call, write, or visit Mom. To remember her.

I have also shared with you how I had to clean out and sell her house. (Such a short sentence for such a huge project!) These physical assets have become liquid assets now. Money for the monthly bill at the assisted living residence, money for her medications, insurance, clothes, cat food, toothpaste...  she still has lots of financial expenses and responsibilities, it's my task to do that for her. It's still her money. I'm just her poa.

Someone mailed back the WALK pledge form with a handwritten note at the bottom, no return address, no name. After reading it, my husband and I both knew who it was from.  He said I received a FU letter.  It made my stomach turn.

"Please use our share from the proceeds from the sale of (her) house and antiques as our contribution. This should put you over ($ fundraising goal)."

Your share?!?
My Mother's not dead!


Emily said...

How insensitive. As if you're using your Mom's estate to go out to eat and get pedicures every week. That note would make me mad, too. Hope writing about it helps you to exert less energy on these rude people, and move on. Hugs.

Michele Bilyeu said...

Oh, how sorry I am to read about this! There are always mean spirited people in the world, and its so sad to discover that we actually know some of them.

There is so much hard, hard work caring for a family member with A.D. I did the house clean out just for it to be liveable for me to help my parents..and that took me three years..so I know. We haven't gotten to the selling part..but you know what? It's all so darn hard that unless you've walked in our shoes you can't possibly imagine.

Let this go..you just plain have to for your own sake. It's their issue, their problem, their mean spiritedness. Try really hard to not let it become yours.

Big, big hug and bless you for finding time to make quilts for AAQI amidst all of this!!!

And super congrats on some of them going to Houston :)